going to 20 years old this year..

hahahha..
time was past with fast..
i life for 20 years old ady..
in this period of time,
i knew a lot of friends..
learn a lot things and gain a lot of experience..
but still so lazy ah..hahha
seriously life is like that...
i hate to leave my friend..
but this always happen in life..
now friends all have new lifes ady..
actually quite jealous them that can go far for study..
i wish to...
but result too bad...hahaha
but really love my friends so much..
they gave a lot of happy memories...
wish they always happy in new life..^^

this time i really cannot think positive anymore..

how u will felt when private school also cannot accpet u as student??
i really regret.. why i never study hard...
but what for??
all too late...
i really super dissapointed and sad..
i cannot stop cry..
why why why??
i wish my pa get c but my math get a..
yes , i get great in my pengajian am..
but what for??
no use at all..
the most important subject mathematic get 1.67..
not ever principle pass..
utar also cannot enter....
but i cannot cry in front my family..
i dun want my parent worry..
please...what should i do ??
retake stpm ?? take foudation ?? take diploma ??
which have to wait 1 more year...
and use more money ??
hate myself so much....

What BF that i want??

lol...lasty a lot of people keep ask me whether have a bf ady..
when i say no ,
some of them will use their big eyes look at me...
is normal for me..
when some friends ask me to introduce a gf to them,
i check all list , omg..almost all hv bf..
then they " are u too picky "
but my answer always is " not yet meet the right person "

But after that ,
my brain will turn , i really picky..
let me think,
my ideal bf nid to
1. he have to love me 1st and make me to love him also..hahha..
2. care about me
3. always can make right decision.because i blur then i nid some1 beside suggest me and help me sometimes
4. clever than me but not all aspect..can teach me study.
5. no easy give up as me ..xp
6. tall and slim ( this not really important)
7. like sport
8. patient ( because i too blur ady )
9. if can , i wish he is engineer
10. have bright future
11. dun too busy, always accompany me
12. when go to movie , will holding my hand..i also jump when something excited come out from screen,
      cannot laugh on me but nid petting my hair and smile to me..blek~
13. cannot cheat me
14. not easy angry because i always talk wrong thing when too excited or happy...>.<
15. like travel
16. will sayang my little sister..xp
17. not aa zai but not use too much money on me
18. can make cook for him or he can cook for me..like to do house work..
19. know music..piano or guitar...if can
20. not smoker or take drug ..
21. will love my family..because i dun want 1 month love geh...
22. dun mind me busy and always stay in home..less go out..( because lazy..xp)
23. love me when i m not pretty and poor. so that in future i fat ady.he still love me
24. give me a big guge when i m sad
25. like my friends , wont angry when i go out with guy friend, but i will infotm hom
26. if go out with girl.i wish to follow.xp
27. dun ignore me and go accompany other girls



this is all..that why i cannot get a bf...hahahha
but i mention clear here..dun ask me again..whether i am lesbian...then no hv bf..